best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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