Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
