doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
