You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Someone came in the potted fern
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
