someone get that fucking seahorse.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
she told me i tasted like america
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
