You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I've blown a few things in my day
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
