so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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