Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
