on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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