Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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