Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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