So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My dad just said "fuck circus"
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