he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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