I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
