So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
