i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
