honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We had sex on a dog bed..
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
