That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
