Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
