it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
