I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
