so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
