He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
