I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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