Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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