don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
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