For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
