Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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