i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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