Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
