Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
