I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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