When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
