All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
