Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
