Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
