This is the prime rib incident all over again
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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