i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
