I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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