I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
