i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
