Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
