there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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