remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
