I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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