I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
