even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
