and i looked up. we had an audience...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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