in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
