Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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