The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm just crazy horny about you
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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