If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Edward fifth and chaser hands
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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