she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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