just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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