it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
