and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize