you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
