End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
