they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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