What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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