Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
