so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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