For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
