Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
