i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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